I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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