He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
