David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
