im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
