its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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