I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
