hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
