i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
