a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
