so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
