So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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