How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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