she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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