i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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