we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
