My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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