Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
