Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
