What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
