When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
