haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
