I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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