What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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