Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
