Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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