imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
