About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
