I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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