I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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