btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
