she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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