I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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