Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Pants are for mortals
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
