Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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