I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
cat food counts as protein by the way
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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