You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
