I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
