Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
