at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
