even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
