i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
