Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
