woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
