6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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