i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
