I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my being single is dangerous.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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