I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
