worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
