My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
