We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize