i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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