Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it was like eating out sand paper
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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