all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
