i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
