Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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