I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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