Please, let me fuck your mom
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
