I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
