return my video game
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
