You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
