So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the day after is always just damage control
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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