It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
