Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
