I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
