this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
