he shaved USA in his pubs
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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