so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
