just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize