i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
