If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
