and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
